What not to do?

Learning has two aspects. One of them is knowing “what to do” and other one is knowing “what not to do” . Out of these two, the former is limited and focused to some particular area while the latter includes everything excluding what comes under “What to do”.

When we set on a task of learning, we tend to face questions like what to do in order to achieve the objective. If we get distracted and start doing something which doesn’t lead to task accomplishment then we come to know that we did have the right approach. We can get distracted in many ways and at different stages. So, in order to accomplish our objective, we need to stay away from distractions. We need to have the right approach.

To summarize it all, if we know about all the possible distractions and misleading nodes in a task, we can reach our goals faster. Therefore, Learning doesn’t only constitute how and what to do. It also includes what not to do. Thomas Elva Edison, while inventing the light bulb took 999 unsuccessful attempts and got it right in 1000th time. Somebody asked, “How did you feel when you failed 999 times”. He replied to it saying, “I have not failed. I just found 999 ways that didn't work.”

Qaisism: 1:02 Art of giving compliments

I have met some people who say that they don't like people who praise people on their faces. They go to the extent of claiming that they are not pleased on getting some compliments. But I completely disagree on this point. I believe that everybody likes compliments and sometimes they even like flattery. They might be aware that what is being offered is not an honest one but it's perfectly human to get moved.

Somebody trying to please you gives at least one assurance which is that you are useful and you can do some good to someone. It gives that sense of power to some people and a feeling of satisfaction to the altruistic kind. If nothing else then you are a likeable person and people would like to befriend you.

On the other hand, giving compliments is an art, too. If we feel someone has done something good or has some good traits, we should not hold back our compliments. It helps in reaching out to people. Moreover, making people aware of their strengths is a move towards getting the best out of them.

Talking more about compliments, some people like to receive direct compliments about the way they are while the reluctant ones like embedded compliments. Now, what could be an "Embedded Compliment" ? If you haven't got that already, let me try...

Embedded compliments are those which are given during conversations without stressing much on them. A careful listener or the intended recipient might pick it up casually or without getting noticed. The recipient of such a compliment doesn't even need to acknowledge it. Such compliments are given by people when they aren't sure that the person they want to compliment would be happy to receive a compliment. So, that's how "Embedded compliments" work. ;-)

People who come from Teaching/Defence/Army/IAS/IPS/Judiciary backgrounds or are strict Gandhian followers are the ones with whom one should be very careful while giving them compliments. They, in all probability want to be recognized and known for their discipline, truthfulness, dedication, principles and all similar attributes but they would always hesitate in receiving compliments. Sometimes, they would puncture your compliment and turn it into a joke while at other times they would want to defend themselves by quoting better examples of the attributes they are complimented on.

If compliments are given properly and received with elan then they can do wonders for one's PR. It's time that we come out of our humble -selves and learn to give/accept compliments.

Now, carrying this further... I would like to request you to add a few more finer points to this topic. Some ideas or events of your life must have crossed your mind while reading this piece. If you don't mind sharing it , share it in your comment.

Cheers !!!